To take someone's sexual consent, in a calculated,
premeditated way means that you certainly felt justified
and often reason that it was owed to you somehow...
This is a Bill and Cardi parallel I can agree with.
A powerful Hollywood actor billionaire and a woman
in her sex worker/sexual youth tigress prime have
in common that they feel entitled to anyone they
want to have sexually. Because they are both so
hot, they are on fire and untouchable by any limits.
Bill Cosby was never a handsome man but his
hotness in his field and his net worth should
of course make people put that all aside.
If you watch any episodes of the youtube series
"For my Man" you'll hear all the salacious but true
crime genre that dramatizes all the prison resulting
crimes women have done for the men they loved.
You can justify anything you do, the most heinous
and vicious actions. Disassociation does not just
work for the wounded while they are getting
wounded but it works well to protect their hold on
reality from sinking in while they are perpetrating
violence. It may not be for love, it may just be
because you feel like you deserve what you are
taking and this story even fuels your dehumanization
of your victims. But they're not victims to the
perpetrators, maybe they're toys. It's a thrill game
to them. Like when Winona Ryder used to shoplift
and make the news getting caught. Making right the
wrongs with physical violence. Seems logical
to more than you might think.
To refer back to the initial quote of this piece, I wan
t to talk about feeling entitled to rape. Payback?
Initiation. FUCK YOU PAY ME? That wound that
never heals because you and people in the same
stage of wounding as you are ensuring the cycle
continues. I"m talking about Cardi B here. Not Cosby.
I don't know if I should even attempt to imagine life in
Cosby's mind at the time, because it's very difficult to do
so if you have aligned more with Cardi for most of your
life. I spent 6 years as an at risk "outcall bitch" in LA and
done and seen way too much crazy shit to really not ever
want to do it again but in awe of the me that used to be
able to it. 6 years is a long time. I never sexually or
physically assaulted anyone, but the same cannot be said
about clients doing to me. “The streets” is a dangerous,
live living spark that passes from generation to generation,
cutting and burning everyone and many things on the way.
Overwhelmingly for female bodied sex workers and drug
dealers, death and rape are the occupational hazards.
Always being a victim because of your gender gets tiring.
FUCK YOU. PAY ME. Street mentality is also not the most
emotionally developed because of the trauma people have
lived through by the time they are of age. One upping a man
at the violence game requires drugging a man or hitting him
blindside which is much more dangerous. How else to
overpower someone twice your size? Knock them out.
Carry a gun. LEVEL UP. What game are you playing?
Carry a gun. LEVEL UP. What game are you playing?
We have many choices to make in life, in “the streets” and
in various other locations throughout our development.
What is the cost, what risk is involved, who will be hurt
and do we care? What can we stand to win? What have
we got to lose and who will be hurt are not even the same
questions in case you were wondering. Your mindset controls
your body and your fate. It can make wrong seem right
and right seem scary, disgusting, dangerous because you
believe it’s impossible or threatening because its not familiar.
If someone breaks your heart or betrays you, you are entitled
to break their mind, body and soul forever. You don’t actually.
But it will take some time maybe a lifetime before it sinks in.
