on a smartphone dating app.
Quick swipe hookup culture. It’s what the kids are doing these days
. No one is buying dinner anymore it seems. Not even McDonalds.
“I don’t go on dates, not trying to date.” he said with a charming grin
on his face. The same one on his selfie on his profile.
I should have known better when a cute tattoo artist was giving me
sexy attention. Looks like love but its really just sex. But I had
been whipped into an adolescent romance fantasy and it looked
like love because my little girl had always wanted love from
someone like him. He was handsome, he was an artist and
he was giving me attention. All the important things necessary
for a life partner. :)
“I’ll give you a tour of my place.” he said and we were upstairs in
his very clean studio apartment on top of his tattoo studio.
“Wow.” I said. “Cool place.” I’d been looking at Honolulu living
spaces all week looking for an apartment to call home so, his abode,
although a little dark for me, was ideal for his sex filled tattoo caveman
lifestyle and I could appreciate how matched the two were for each
other. I longed to find the same for myself. I was still pretty naive to
his game. The chemical blinders had begun to TAKE HOLD. (It looks
something like ivy fingers growing over the eyeballs and brain stem).
There are proven chemical reactions that happen to your brain on drugs
both chemical and internal. Studying the science of attraction has really
helped me be able to make more solid decisions in my life.
I’ve written about how love and drugs were related before but I made
some interesting new discoveries with this new Bumble fling.
ADRENALYN. Internet dating, hooking up, hiring a sex worker, buying
drugs/sex from a stranger all involve the body chemical adrenalyn. And
when we mix it with people who are bad for us, that hit us, or fuck us rough
or spit in our faces? Adrenalyn.
Adrenalyn and attraction go together like cocaine and credit cards! Weeee!
Dopamine triggers an intense rush of pleasure — which has the same
effect on the brain as taking cocaine. Once dopamine is released into
the body, it leads to:
- Increased energy.
- Less need for sleep or food.
- More focused attention on the person whom we like.
- Exquisite delight in all the smallest details of the new person.
- Need for attention.
- Feelings of excitement and happiness.
Serotonin plays a significant role in balancing mood, appetite, sexual
desire and sexual function and is an essential chemical for the start of
any new relationship. Serotonin diverts the mind and binds it to think
about one’s lover and nothing else. When this love chemical is in effect,
people are engrossed in thought about the person they like about 65
Well, after tattoo man and I were doing a Tantric eye gaze (I, of
course volunteered to demonstrate my “magic” on him) , I started to get
hungry.
“There’s a bunch of restaurants down the street. You’re free to go
and come back, I’ll be here.” he said with the same charming smile.
All these body chemicals were making my head spin and my stomach
gurgle. We had made it onto his bed in a cuddle and all of my
chemicals were now mixing together with vasopressin, aka the monogamy
drug which always gets kicked in when I see men with young children,
who make their status as baby daddy with a crib in his bedroom very
clear to the girls they are bringing to his bed. He talks candidly about his
“baby” and all the trouble he’s in with the baby mama who is abusive to
him and paints himself out to be the good guy victim in any drama that
he describes. “It’s because she’s a bad person.” he says nonchalantly.
And girls like me are supposed to be, “Awwww let me help you get your
mind off that bad bad lady!”
