Wednesday, February 6, 2019

Sex, Drugs and STDs

3 weeks ago “Surviving R Kelly” came out revealing
what many people have known for years: R Kelly
is a serial abuser and child molestor.  I could put
“alleged” but if we put that in front of his allegations,
it means that we have to go with the criminal prosecution
route of guilty until charged.  I think with social media
movements and women being fearless enough to go on
mic and camera to make their experiences real, we are
going to see more of #muteRKelly having an effect that the
criminal justice system seems to not have.  R Kelly’s lawyer
is doing interviews telling the media “there is no crime” and
that it’s just “she said versus he said” stories.  His lawyer is
a slimebag.  Not anymore than the slimebag that he is the
mouthpiece for by no obvious means. I don’t agree that we
should take a victim or survivor’s story at face value either
because PTSD can make you do crazy things.  It can feel
like a temporary insanity if you aren’t able to manage it well
and many people can’t .   I don’t know if “These women are
just looking for 15 minutes of fame” he says, as if speaking
your survivor story, despite the fact that it might get you on
a grammy award stage with Lady Gaga playing a white piano,
i don’t think any survivor actually thinks of themselves as famous
for speaking out.  Lady Gaga herself is an interesting example
of how survivors can flip flop their perspectives from the
seemingly willing to the seemingly against.  People change in
the public eye, especially performers and entertainers.  First
Gaga is dancing with R.Kelly singing “do what you want with
my body” and then she realizes that she has to speak out
against his violence and mute him with the rest of the
movement.  How could this be? As a survivor, I can totally
understand the flip flop.  But that’s what being famous looks like,
not telling your sexual or physical abuse story on TV.  I’ve told
my story many times on documentaries and news and people
actually just see you as a random face, not a
celebrity.  Sometimes they even see as a tramp, a liar, a gold
digger or whatever worse name they can muster.  I doubt they
even recognize you unless the person who calls you out the
street is some kind of stalker anyway.  “Hey, hey, I saw you on
the stage in the background for 3 seconds in that song with
Lady Gaga.”  I think the most courageous survivor story, that
most people will remember however, a real celebrity in my
opinion far more memorable than Gaga is Christine Blasey
Ford. It’s funny how the R Kelly scandal has so much of the
same language that is used against sex workers. “Sex, girls
and STDs” one of these videos says purporting that giving the
women he’s had relationships with herpes is part of the crime
that makes his physical abuse even more egregious.  It’s not
helpful that this preposterous propaganda about herpes is
being spread at the sake of “saving victims”  
“R Kelly is a pimp, but his only client is himself.”  says the
father of Joycelyn Savage, who left her college dorm room
clean and moved into the harem of R.Kelly.  She was 19 when
she left and she is 22 now appearing on TMZ as “fine and not
abused.”  It’s a lot like an episode of Atlanta housewives, the
mother is throwing up in the toilet and hysterical in the BBC
interviews, and the parents are on countless talk shows
chronicling their search for their daughter who is being locked
up R.Kelly’s house.  Everyone seems to be stuck in Karpmans
victim triangle.  R.Kelly is the persecutor, the former
girlfriends/wives and the parents of the ones currently in
relationship with Kelly are the rescuers for the victims who
are in the house of abuse of R.Kelly and its indeed made a
made for TV screen drama.

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