Tanya J: Sexing, Scoring and Away from Home

My typical day...is a 30 -48 hour day and then a big 15 hour sleep.  Sometimes it starts at 7-8pm sometimes it starts at 3am...it really depends on so many things- where I am, who I'm with, how im working at that time (ie from the street or online), if I wanna go score, or if I have any specific plans. So even if i do very different activities or stick to wildly different times from day to day- I'm usually trying to take care of myself and people around me while working towards my own goals (making money, learning new things and trying to change some of the fucked up things in the world)  I use heroin basically every day..or at least I have done for the last 4 or So years... And I travel a fair bit - for work and to visit friends and family ...even when I don't plan on it I still end up moving around a lot.  A lot of the time its almost like there's this feeling that I'm being moved on or I'm about to be moved on. On the street in Narrm [Melbourne] police will issue sex workers and our clients "move on notices " if they think we are loitering with intent to solicit...and even if I dodge them, I see a regular client get told to move on & if he's seen in the area again its a 24 hour ban. And even if I rent an apartment there is this feeling of "how long will we last here" - places where sex workers and drug users have hung out for years keep getting gentrified so fast- and now im in Europe I similar things happening everywhere I go- in Amsterdam, in Oslo, in London...

Most days I spend a few hours texting/talking to potential clients and filtering through time wasters, and other people I get a bad vibe from.. And maybe on average I do one job a day.. Sometimes I might do three quickies (10-15 minute car jobs) in an afternoon,  other times I might do 3 bookings all week (and hopefully they are 1 hour or longer or otherwise I end up with no drugs and real sick hanging out)

But when work is really quiet it goes from good to double bad coz I'm not only broke but also going thru withdrawals for heroin and often also coming down off uppers ...but I'd rather have good times and some shit than just the same boring  same thing again and again. I enjoy being outside my comfort zone or challenging myself in different ways.

How do you travel over borders so much with a habit?

I have info and things on my devices but I just be vague and send heapsa texts but in trying to avoid extra risks .  I don't carry shit on me, they drug test everything I have twice for residue, question me for 3 hours as it is. It's like its better to be sick for 24 hrs than risk like everything when people are making fairly active watch. But anyway, finding shit, i dunno I think its easy in street based work ..either I find people somehow or I know enough people or place to go to then ask then to ask people  for things .. Like these days I just travel back and forth from Stockholm to Australia. I can get OST sometimes like methadone but I try avoid that now its easier being sick 24 hours than getting off and on methadone

I like to read a lot about history, take notes and share stuff with friends or my partner. If I don't make music or write poetry or spend time reading/listening to oral histories ...then I kinda sink down into a depressive hole... I need to do things like this to keep some hope in future or to distract myself from tendencies to be overly pessimistic & cynical

A big part of me taking drugs ( injecting heroin and smoking ice) is to find time and create the kind of mental state I want to be in to focus or relax or enjoy doing those kinds of things to the max... And also to treat myself and enjoy the money I earn from sex work- as a kind of investment in myself and how I feel.

LET THEM GO!

Everyday in America seems to top the day before with another unbelieveable fulfillment of Trump’s campaign promise for making America stink again. As I write this there are about 1-200 people held in airport detention centers in every airport, numbering in the thousands across the U.S. Activists and armed police have filled the International terminals of major airports chanting “Let them Go!” It’s the first time I’ve ever seen crowds of activists inside of a building, and a clear reminder to all of us how easy it is to enforce martial law for a select population using blockage of entry ports controlled by the state, now 8 days under the control of a fascist commander in chief.

Crossing through ANY immigration system can be frightening, even if you think you have privileges. Officials have ONE NARROW LENS in the name of protecting their country and the right to search your body, car, baggage, read your love letters and your journal without a warrant, make fun of you, rip off your hijab, grab your pussy, yell, detain you for hours, move you to an immigration facility which will turn into days, months or decades as in Guantamo Bay... and even if you aren't found guilty, if you got this far in their punishment process every time you try to pass through or visit it will be the same hell...5, 10, 15 yrs later! Immigration never forgets. Always, always have a timed screen lock on your smartphone or it is open season search of all your emails and social media.

Oh Canada asks me,"Have you ever been in trouble with us before?" and I wanted to say,"No." and just catch my connecting flight but I reluctantly tell the truth and missed my flight to Japan. The white guy waiting next to me said he had an incident 15 years ago. We both watched the woman from Canadian immigration yell at the wife to "answer for herself!" instead of having her husband answer/interpret for her.

Luckily, I’ve never been convicted of a DUI, because having a DUI, among other crimes, such as drug addiction or possession of a controlled substance convictions for sure will render you inadmissable to the Great Land of the Beaver. If you have an addiction but never went to a mandated treatment program (another good reason to seek non conventional solutions to addiction like ayahuasca) and never got arrested for it, then you can try your luck at the border.

I did try to drive across the border with a weed pipe in my car thinking that is was not a big deal. It was one of the biggest deals of my life. They searched my car, my person, detained me for close to 10 hours, read my journal out loud to me while laughing, and scrolled through my Facebook posts. It was pretty horrifying. I made it through the ordeal but the next day the PTSD kicked in and I could not stop crying. It was New Year’s Eve and I had made it back to Seattle, having to find strength to “celebrate.” The very first thing I did of course was drive to a dealer’s house to medicate my instability and pain. I am a white American female. NO exceptions were made for little supposedly privileged me. I don’t even need to imagine the pain that these 1000s of detainees, i can take myself back to that place quite easily. But for me, I was just on a little road trip, thinking it would be cool to drive from Seattle to Canada for just a night and visit a friend. I’d get some weed when I got across the border but I didn’t want to spend the extra money for a pipe.

The stakes are much higher for most of the people being held. They are fearing instant deportations, life ruin, family separation, life shattering consequences. Syrian refugees seeking peace in America after escaping war, losing their families, after months upon YEARS of waiting though the current vetting process that is already in place, will be turned away after all that waiting and hoping. "We don't want 'em here." One of the Iranian born victims of Trumps policy had her flight rerouted to a different country and was stranded. “I am broken, I never thought I could cry for so long.” The reason that the ban is on all Muslim majority countries, according to a CNN clip i just saw, was that he was seeking to create a “religious test” for 90 days. It is not related to “the lessons from 9/11” as Trump states because the countries where the terrorists of the WTC were from Egypt, U.A.E, and Saudi Arabia which are not listed on the banned countries list. This is the disgusting version 2017 Executive Order 9066.